Yesterday and today were equally madly hectic at work, but today there was something starkly different. I felt light, airy, not burdensome, not heavy at all, in good spirits despite not getting down to proper work til the END of the work day in an attempt again to clear obstacles. I reflected after during Gubbio’s walk, and concluded after at home that I believe someone has been praying for me! Thank you Lord, praise you Lord!!
Back in 2016 I learned through LRBM via Ascension Press that:
The Book of Psalms is The School of Prayer
Then on The Feast of the Holy Family on 27th December, this year in 2020, l learned via Friar Derrick’s children mass homily that:
The home is the first school of Christian life (CCC 1657)
As we know Faith begins at home in the Domestic Church (CCC 1655)
Now that’s 2 instant schools I have access to, to learn how to pray and to live our Christian life!
In a LRBM retreat earlier in October 2020, I learned more on the role of the Laity through a Decree and an Exhortation:
And this was my reflection after the retreat:
Apostolate to sanctify and renew the temporal order. For me it is profound. Calls out. Appreciate this knowledge from the apostolate encyclical for the laity to read into —-Apostolicam Actuositatem as I only roughly knew as lay we had a role to play as a baptised catholic to serve in our mission and evangelise, but knowing deeper on the spirituality of Lay people, saying success of lay apostolate depends on the laity living in union with Christ ———-not only to bring out the Gospel message but I liked what it said about the church’s mission to———— penetrate and perfect the temporal order with the spirit of the Gospel—————— So not only to “go out go out to all the world and share the Good News”, but, to me that feels like infusion, to infuse love in others and it really builds upon how to live an integrated life together with family, as well as my own spiritual life too, so very helpful to know this. And how COVID-19 accelerated this by being at home to serve domestic church from home together with the fundamental as families building the parishes to the wider church. If I am in union with Christ then the fruit should be joy and to attract and inspire others by being as life-giving as possible.
CCC 1657: All members of family exercise for priesthood of the Baptised in a privileged way —-by reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, self denial (purification) and active charity.
Because The Lord loved us first.
This all follows on from learning about Encyclical Letter Fratelli Tutti from 3 October 2020 of the Holy Father Francis on fraternity and social friendship, and previously the year prior in the last LRBM retreat on how Christus Vivit reaches out to the youth. Also learned about the dogmatic constitution on Divine Revelation through Dei Verbum. We have so many connected resources to teach us; we have school surroundings to learn from wherever we are!
My takeaway reflection from 2020 is the richness of the lay apostolate, how there is really a lot to learn about the life of the laity with the above resources and how we as family or singledom must use our gifts to sanctify the world by how we live as witnesses to Christ.
Good morning! A definitely better morning than the last few, hence starting with a post again. I have decided to write briefly, just to capture the thought, than to journal a lengthy post or purposefully write free-flow, unless there was a a particular experience I needed to write. My present state of mind is much more alert with clarity than the past few weeks, and it is mainly due to just merely starting to get back to my usual routine, which I now know I live by. I am feeling good today, happier state, more put-together, despite not sleeping the desired 7.5 hours a night. I believe it is not just to do with the routine but how I felt before sleeping and how I slept! Last night I went to sleep happy after having a rich and meaningful convo and learning from my new-found fellow yogi friend :0)) Just by going back to my set prescribed routine which begins with a sleep hygiene routine and preparing for the next day really changes and lightens my state of mind. The usual “night before” has me beginning to prepare the night at around 9-9.30pm getting together my yoga gear, preparing my breakfast, snack (and/or lunch) and packing my bag for work – but in the stay-home era now I have not done either, so it is general tidying up of my homemade items before retiring to the bedroom. The usual sleep hygiene routine begins unwinding at 9.30pm, showering, dimming lights, infusing essential oils, quietening down the room with silence or soft music, ensuring all messages are replied, and ideally (depending on mood), all electronics put away by 10.30pm, kindle in hand, and bed and night prayer by 11pm. This is the optimum. When I am excited by the latest find, I am still on my iPad watching YouTube videos in bed, which I try to do whilst washing up or hanging laundry – and I’ve found that ideal, albeit slowing me down from my usual speed ;). So, the optimum is optimal for me, tried and tested, to completely indulge in another world with a spiritual read on my kindle from 10.30pm-11pm and sleep til the morning, rising between 6.30-7am. With that, I get the best state of mind feeling in the morning, because, I love mornings! I love the morning light, the bright sunshine, the calmness and the me-time, walking the dog early in the crisp air when it is quiet, sitting down to reflect in morning prayer when it is not yet time to work, starting breakfast with the aroma of fresh coffee, and delecting in a my favourite meal of the day, which I prepare daily….breakfast!
Already the 3rd week of Advent?! Alas, yes. Back to reality, and where reality has hit, and more significantly, where I have accepted reality, by letting reality “be” reality. Enter back in intentionality, living in the present moment, mindfully. How? By healing first. Healing the mental mind, the physical body, giving it back what it deserved, putting away the over-worked brain and abolished physiological system. It came about unideally by literally running out of time, prioritising the overdue must-dos and trying to do it whilst travelling. I have found this to be unconducive, and do not travel well whilst working. After they were completed by force, the mind became slightly more relaxed in terms of tasks completed, however it took a week to “recover” doing some left-over tasks on the holiday too, which resulted in not being completely at ease. I have learnt this for the first time on this trip, however as tasks are not mentally taxing it was more a nuisance than anything, but did prevent me from my usual soaking in of pleasant holiday surroundings. Fast forward and amongst all of that was ironically rushing an Advent Reflection (week 1 plus week 2 combined too as it was past!) and hey that does not sound like what the Advent season is meant to be about too! Finally. After a week of working (work + personal tasks) on the holiday, I have ended up reset and mentally and physically refreshed to start over! There’s the backlog of social circle and personal development and growth that has been neglected, however, there is much to be learnt through this very experience, and do I unravel it, or do I pause, reflect and move on?
Super ironic huh that this is happening during Advent, the time to take stock of the year, reflect, contemplate peacefully and anticipate Our Saviour. And this is even after unmaterialising and unconsuming Christmas for a few years now. It shows how different it is from season to season, with what is brewing in our hearts and souls, and how close and open our hearts and souls have been toward God this year, even if I had been excited in anticipation of Advent this year after revelations in the LRBM retreat. The distraction by the world was way too easy than clinging onto what is above, unseen and eternal – faith was weak, flesh was weak too.
There were definitely pockets of peace in all this, and much a plenty to have gratitude for, with the abundances of graces, recognised always afterward on hind sight and here comes a wee reminder for me to do my daily examen again. Perhaps it was the guilt that was more overwhelming of my own behaviour that has been suboptimal, blaming dryness in prayer – did I even try hard enough after the Sacrament of Reconciliation and Healing? And on Penitentiary Service this Advent, I knew I was going to miss this, and had thought of going for confession at SMOTA before heading to Europe, but no surprise, yet again was something I had in my mind but did not accomplish before leaving! Where were my priorities?! It has also started to disturb me that I’ve not prepared anything in terms of outreach for the poor and needy too this season. Maybe there will be an opportunity later, and in the meantime I pray that I can give of myself more in an attentive outreach to others.
So in being able to slow down much more easily in the western northern hemisphere, I have much gratitude for 2 obvious things that occurred by the grace of God: 1) confession with an old, very sweet, warm, merciful Italian priest in the Duomo in Parma (sudden) 2) attending Sunday Mass being very near our hotel in Bologna though we woke up late and right in front where we chose to sat was one single piece of the liturgy pamphlet for the day to follow. There are 2 more things I have so much gratitude for and they are the safety walking in the slippery icy slopes and that being in the UK and Italy time has slowed by half – after 2 days past, it felt like 4 or more, and after a week past, it felt like a fortnight! It is obvious now I will be recollective and spend time to reflect now I have a clear mental state and capacity to do so. In that, I am also most grateful for this state of mind to be able to do this! Gratitude journalling with reflections may come more naturally, and this is the first time doing it from my laptop instead of my phone.
I take from this year, something to learn for the next, when challenges fall wayward, and that is what a dear friend said to me, when trouble started to happen this year: “when times are challenging, pray double”
To move forward, a reminder from an infographic received for 3 things to say No to during Advent:
Got this reflection to remind us:
God our Father, we thank you for the gift of your Son, Jesus, who is the best gift you have given to us. Your care Father, is vividly shown through Jesus. Help us to prepare ourselves well to receive him with grateful hearts. It is easy to lose sight of the true meaning of what we are celebrating but with your grace, may our wait be fruitful as you have promised. God our Father, you have showed us that they only way to experience authentic joy is in, through and with you. Grant us vision and patience amidst our trials so as not to miss your words of comfort. May we also be angels of light during this season to those in darkness by sharing your love and mercy. Forgive us Lord and grant us the grace to truly experience the authentic joy this Christmas as we lay our dreams and our hurts at your feet. Amen.
The theme of joy has been so prevalent working up to the 3rd week of Advent and I believe this has culminated wonderfully (in awe of God again!) in peace and freedom experienced at this very moment! It is only God’s perfect timing and perfect plan. The Italian confessor in Duomo di Parma (whom I think said) God knows our poverty and when we respond to Him he is happy and full of joy to welcome us back with warm hugs cos he loves us, and the celebrant in Parrochia di San Giovanni Battista in Bologna where he said our joy will be complete in God. He spoke about joy so many times and the part understood was the testimonies we should talk about, to spread the joy of the Gospel. For me, this resounds greatly, to go back to this, as then this life is not about ourselves anymore, but the Christ who lives in us. I pray for much deeper humility, meekness, prudence in all I think, say, do and to be less vocal, and more assertive in my actions than my words. I have felt Jesus, Our Lady, and our Saints to be stronger in my intercession lately, helping me along in my prayer life. Thanks be to God.
NCC - do you see the Lord providing indirect answers in your community and do you rejoice to see the Lord's hand in the community's struggles?
I would say yes, he has worked in our community gradually, some of us have heard and answered his call to help us make changes that have been brought forward now into the season of Advent and more importantly, it is a grace to recognise that God’s hand is working in our NCC struggles, and that we continue to make this an enriching NCC to support our community as actively as possible, amidst life’s usual challenges that come our way.
He knows me before I know myself. He spoke to my heart. Learnt how to unpack the power of Visio Divina with community.
Psalm 118:18
Following a dramatically different Easter experience I am usually used to, decidingly not to journal unless I’ve received a message that is strong and in this case almost blatantly in-my-face again – here I go! It was much needed after a “powerfully-overbearing” week that I only coped with with His grace.
Mass presided by Fr Esmond was beautiful today!
The 2nd reading on Apocalypse came to life for 2 reasons! After completing studying The Book of Revelation, the words in 21:1-5 are so impactful and meaningful knowing that the “new commandment” is “new” in the sense of a brand new way to love 💕proclaimed in the liturgy today.
Secondly, the very moment during the Our Father we sung “For the Kingdom, the glory and the power are yours” an immense bright light blasted through the parish windows directly toward the altar and shiningly lit up the church til the end of the mass. Fr Esmond sung the first part of the Eucharistic prayer in angelic voice, and the Santus prayer came alive again as I imagined the angels next to Jesus praising “Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of Hosts……” significant, as again it is in Rev 4:8.
_The first line is the hymn of the seraphim in Isaiah 6:3 and Revelation 4:8. The second part is what the crowd cried to Jesus at his triumphal entry into Jerusalem (Mt 21:9), which is modelled after Psalm 118:25_
At the same time a few other good revelations dawned upon me … 🙌
I was so happy and blessed that the water of life of Easter and reminder of our baptism was sprinkled over me 3 times by Fr Esmond. And the communion hymn was “As I have done for you”. Both of these I had missed in previous masses so I was elated to experience this. 3rdly I saw Clare and hubby carrying their newborn in mass and I think I only saw them a week prior pregnant!! For the thanksgiving hymn I turned the hymnal which went to the precise page before “The Joyful Eastertide” no. 180 was even announced!
I am reset once again back to routine after feeling bleah despite a blessed time in the end in Bangkok after many years going on a completely sudden business trip overseas having only being informed to book and fly to it the night before. I travelled 2000+ km to meet a group of 3 lady Christians to stay in touch with in a 95% male dominated conference and one of whom was a fellow Catholic who also owns a dog, stays in the next block in the same condo who also goes to SMOTA!! Praise be to God indeed. In unexpected revelations this Easter.
And here is Fr Esmond’s homily 15/5/19:
Apocalypse often misunderstood and misquoted by Hollywood as book of the future.
Events have already happened and still happening cos of JC.
John’s new vision is not of future but as above. Hard to comprehend world of no death no sadness cos of news and our families.
John was not talking about worldly positive thinking cos that is to convince yourself but to see through the eyes of faith
So must keep focus on God and God alone. To see hope and life. To have grace and courage to move through our hardship. Christian uds of Hope is faithfulness through his promises that he loves us and never leaves us
God has made a home among us – second reading. Even in our hardship that is hope with God in us
Even in death there is hope and life cos God who is faithful cos those who believe in him never see death
And we must See life, cos God with us turns hardship in growth for patience and humility etc.
Don’t run away from hardship thinking it is bad for us
Cross is an opportunity for God’s love to be revealed
Growth in our virtue. Love. Forgiveness . Perseverance
Our rls with God grows too. Cos we need God
Cos of Hollywood we Avoid hardship then we get tired running away from suffering be prepared to run the rest of our life.
Each of us must face hardship in life
Are we superheroes no lah we need God to help us only God can guide us through to grow from hardship
When we allow faith to see hope and life then we have courage to respond with love
See and believe God is faithful. Courage and nothing to fear even in persecution
God gives us a new commandment to love – Not new as in novel But new in the way of loving.
Jesus’ call to love is unconditional and opens us in vulnerability
We take his love for granted but he still loves us
We go beyond our boundaries to set ourselves from the world by the way we love
Even if have been taken advantage of , we risk our life for Jesus cos He will turn these sufferings into blessings.
When we love unconditionally, it is a way to evangelise
The kingdom of God is here and now.
Keep God in us in our hardship. Grow to go through this and help others see this same vision for themselves too.
3 days after my appraisal and receiving the last milestone messages I met a client and the conversation ended up being more about my life 😁!
The classic controls you can put over your life with:
Then 5 days after that, the Deutero-Isaiah Suffering Servant readings kicked off Holy Week (same week Notre Dame Cathedral caught fire) and it really does impact you more when you’ve done a study.
Isaiah 50:4-9
Who thinks he has a case against me? Let him approach me
May I discern this Holy Week to finalise my revelations and resolutions.
I have taken stock of the messages from the end of last year together with the messages I have received for the end of this work FY, together with statements I recall that have been brought to mind.
Sloth was the main reason I didn’t journal lately as I can’t constantly blame extra duties at work tiring me and not taking time out. I guess the messages just received at work were significant enough for me to write again.
Messages and learnings:
I am feeling blessings of affirmation of self development with all these messages and learnings to work on both in my spiritual and working life. I continue to aspire to inspire, grow, evangelise, improve and eventually be able to lead and develop others by living it out with love – act justly, walk humbly and love mercy.